Things your raid leader shouldn't have to say...

...that you need to know anyway.

1. Do not sign up on multiple toons for a single raid. I know who your alts are and if I need them, I will bring them. You should read the fucking calendar invite and note where I spelled out "Accept on your main only."

2. Don't presume to dictate the raiding schedule for the night to me. Nearly everyone else has shied away from handling this job. If I get all the headaches, I also get final say on what we're doing and I don't give a shit if your alts want something from a particular fight. You might feel like a princess, but that doesn't make you one.

3. If you don't sign up for a raid more than once a month, you will not get preference for the one time you do happen to get around to doing that. Quite the contrary, I will consider you dead last.

4. If you always sign up as tentative you're sending me a message, and it's not a positive one. Want to know what tentative means to me? It means you're a lazy asswipe who thinks that he can sneak around the rules but no, I see what you're doing. And I am not impressed. Even if you're not trying to sneak around the rules, it tells me that you are unreliable and that's just really not who I need in my raids.

5. Our raid schedule isn't complicated. At all. It's also been on the calendar for a month. Don't get on and start asking clueless questions such as "Are we raiding tonight? Where are we going? Am I confirmed?" That information is as available to you as it is to me and I'm not here to hold your hand every step of the way.

6. Hanging around trying to snipe a raid spot doesn't impress me at all. I will always, always go to people I've put on standby first.

7. Sign up and show up, means just that. There are no hidden clauses or secret rules in there. My rules apply to everyone equally. Along with that, "be ready" means I don't want to wait for you to repair or make potions or buy a gem off the AH. Again, these raids are not surprises and no one is forcing you to come. You chose to come, you damn skippy better follow through.

8. If we have done a fight many times, don't pretend that you're in there for the first time. You know what your role should be and you know what the important targets ought to be. You also know our kill order. So don't focus on the unmarked mob when we have a skull right there.

9. Don't talk over me in vent. Ever. If I am explaining a fight to the new guy, wait until I ask if there is anything else that should be noted. If I am passing out loot, I don't care to hear over vent that you're passing or you like the looks of those particular pixels. Just, really, shut up and bid when I say to. Blather all you want on easy trash pulls or on boss fights that we can do with our eyes closed, but otherwise show some respect.

10. Don't stand in the fire/green crap/black holes/blue lines of doom/red circles/clouds of putrid/whatever else Blizz throws at us. If you can't make it through a raid without my barking at you to move outta the damn hurty stuff, you maybe shouldn't be raiding. Because it is not my job to watch my feet and those of nine other people, if I think I can get away with it, I will not say anything and let you die of your own dumb and hope that maybe next time you'll remember. More and more, that hope is frail and wasted and you are making me die inside.

Look! Over here! Not over there!

This post brought to us from Holly, my favourite Canadian (see what I did thar?) and the most cheerful person I know, even more than At. 

Let's talk about tanking... and PUG's. Let's talk about tanking and PUG's.

First I'd like to say, I'm not a great tank. I'm a good tank. I know how to do my job, but honestly? Some days I'm just mashing buttons and running around like a headless chicken. I have good gear; not stellar but some great gear.

I know good tanks when I see them... and there have been quite a few. I remember wanting to be Haneen for the longest time.

I recognize bad tanks when I see them... and that's because I've seen good tanks.

I'm a tank. It's all I ever wanted to be and I strive to improve, to get feedback and to accept constructive criticism. I have a mage and a rogue that I fool around with, but I'm a tank at heart. Don't ask Holly to DPS, you'll see a grown woman cuddling her blankee in the corner and whimpering.

That being said, I had the pleasure of experiencing and OMFG. WORST. PUG. EVER. dungeon last night.

Let me start at the beginning. I was late getting home. I log on, say hi to the guildies and they're all busy. This I can handle, I figure I'll herb some and grab someone later for my random heroic, bring on the frost badges, run. Then I get a little bored with my healer husband out of town. I can PUG it, I think, I'm a tank... everyone wants a tank. I get compliments when I PUG, I hear things like "thank heavens, a geared tank". It's good for my ego and it's just a random dungeon. Who hasn't run every dungeon in Northrend at least 20 times before this random dungeon finder thing changed our lives?? Don’t answer that, it was rhetorical.

We pulled The Nexus; a baby dungeon, even on heroic. 20 minutes and I'm outta here, I'm thinking. Even with brand spankin' new 80's, The Nexus should be a cake walk. First couple of pulls and I'm feeling even more confident, pretty good DPS, mage is a bit out of control, but we're handling it. We get through the Hall of Stasis without any casualties. We're heading up The Librarium and just outside the entrance to Grand Magus Telestra. Pull and down the first group at the top of the ramp. No pat (mage slayer with dogs, you know the ones) so we head across the way to the group on the other side. ALWAYS take out the mage ascendant first, that bitch polymorphs. Well I no more than turn my head when the Mage Slayer pats into my druid and my mage. Before I have a chance to finish off the first four (thank heavens for the rogue and warlock in our group) and charge my way over there, the druid and the mage are dead. So we finish off the patrol and wait for people to come back. I want to say here, we didn't wipe...we lost two people.

This is where things get a little weird. The druid, the healer, says... "Can we speed this up; I've got to go in 12 minutes". WTF? I'm not sure how to respond to this. First, who gets in a group when they can't stay? I know that shit happens, mom calls, the cat catches fire and people sometimes have to leave without warning but to only plan to be there for a limited time? Inconsiderate bewb. Second, I can roll with the punches as good as any, but her body is still laying there after 3 minutes and she's (her character was female so we'll go with that) not back in the instance yet. For someone with a time crunch they're sure taking their sweet time getting back in the game. So I say "Let me see if I understand this. You want us to go faster but you're laying there waiting to be rezzed?” This is where it gets fuzzy for me, I'll admit, because it got kind of surreal. She comes back with some comment about "who would rez her (right, she's the only one with the power but why else would she be taking so long?) and she was actually contemplating leaving and did I have any more snide comments to make?". Well ladies and gentleman, let me tell you, that got my back up. She's on a time crunch and just spent 3 of her 12 minutes contemplating leaving and I was the one being unreasonable? So I said, and I quote, "Go to hell, you try and find a geared tank who'll put up with your shit" and I left. As I left I noticed her last comment about how I couldn’t keep anything off her…

Hasty? Maybe, but it's a frackin' PUG and these are not people I care about one iota. I was prepared to put in my 20 minutes, get my badges, say my thanks and run. It's a game and I'm here for a good time, there are other PUG's out there. Moving away from a druid with an attitude seemed like common sense.

Here's where it got insane. She (still a female toon) whispers me on my server (I know she was on Shattered Halls) about how I’m not that geared and not that good a tank. Are you fucking kidding me? I whisper back “Says You” and “Leave me alone” and then I put her on ignore. It’s got to be the healer right? So I start telling officers about what just happened. These people are my friends and they’re going to tell me if I’m off in my own world or should have behaved differently. They’re vindicating my side when I get whispered by another female toon with a similar name to the one I just ignored.

OK. This is just psycho now. She’s going on about how badly I behaved and how pathetic I was. I remember responding with “I’m pathetic? I didn’t just create a new toon on a different server to give a stranger shit”. She effectively ignored this and accused me of being selfish. “Don’t you have to go yet?” I’m thinking her 12 minutes have to be up by now. My GM wants to know her name so that she can straighten her out. I’ve had enough and have put her on ignore again.

She then proceeds to talk to my GM for 30 minutes! No, you can’t make shit this ridiculous up. Alas, back me up here, honey. (It's true! -Alas) Alas is in a rebellious mood and spends the 30 minutes making fun of her. I still can’t get over that. THIRTY (30) MINUTES. Apparently I’m leading Alas around by the nose making her believe I’m a good tank. It’s true. I’ll say it here, please sit down ‘cause I want you all to know that I just faked beating the bosses in Ulduar and TOC and that I’m a phony. You all have carried me for the past 3 years.

I forgot to mention. The reason she took 3 minutes to get back in Nexus? She got lost. She couldn’t find the entrance.

Also, if I was such a good tank why was I running randoms and not running with my awesome guildies? Turns out there’s only room for one tank in FoS. If she’s so great, why was she running randoms? Huh? Nub?

Anyway. There’s a reason its midnight and I’m listening to Sugarland’s “It happens” over and over. I’ve got to write this down before I forget. I’ve got to get this out!

Tanking is a thankless job but I love it. If someone dies, it’s my fault. If someone pulls agro, I must not have been doing my job. My hunter husband knows I’ll let him die if he pulls agro (we give a whole new meaning to “wife agro” in my house). If the group succeeds it’s all thanks to the uber DPS. But WOW, there is nothing quite like the rush of being the first one to run into a fight with the rest of the guild behind you. Better than any drug, or sex, or party or organized cupboard I can tell you. If I die, but we get the boss down, I know I did my job. If I don’t die, it’s even better.

Tanking a PUG though? It’s work. Hard work. I want a pug puppy but I don’t know if I can do it. Not with people like that druid healer out there.

Thanks for letting me rant. I’m Hollybrynn and I just want a hug.

Leadership from three angles

I know all of this has been covered elsewhere, likely by people far more clever than me. But recent events have made me stop and compile everything I know about leadership and from all the angles in which I have experienced leadership. I don't expect this to be groundbreaking by any means, but I wanted to organize my thoughts.

Leadership from the bottom
  
In my real life job, I unfortunately have been working in non-leadership roles for the past several years. So I know what it is like to feel like the under-appreciated, unknown, faceless and nameless cog in the business machine. From down here, it is certainly tempting to believe that everyone who is in a supervisory role has perks that I will never get.

In the position I held before this one, I was expected to keep the phone/desk covered at all times, along with another secretary in the department. This meant having to coordinate lunches with her and being as punctual as I could be. If either of us made it to work a little late, that was a problem. Leaving early was nearly out of the question. And God forbid we ever wanted the same day off or both happened to get sick at the same time! To see every other person in the department strolling in whenever they felt like it, taking long lunches, going to the gym mid-day, being able to go to the bathroom without having to clear it with someone else first (no wonder I hated that fucking job), yeah, they had perks that came from their position.

However, I made a lateral transfer to another department where the requirements are different, and suddenly the game has changed. I take long lunches. I can come in a little late and work over to make up for it. I don't have anyone making me dress up 5 days a week. I also get stuck with all the grunt work no one else wants to do and I see my supervisor abusing the living hell out of his "Exempt" status (no one has as much sick time as he takes). There still seem to be perks I will never have.

I have to assume that there are parts of these leadership positions that are less desirable. Perhaps dealing with the budget or attempting to steer an agenda through the turbulent waters of campus politics is more onerous than I imagine.

Still, it's difficult to respect most middle management here - the "officers" of the business world. There are some who clearly watch out for their teams, but there are just as clearly some who play favorites or seek only their own interests. Some seem to be completely checked out as far as interest in their jobs. Sometimes the person watching out for their team might also be the same person who then plays favorites among them.

So what are the bright spots for a lowly grunt? What are the positives I have seen from management here and how might I be able to take that and translate it into watching out for my guildies? What should I avoid because it'll make me look like a jerk? Here are things I would like to tell my boss (only without the WoW references, obviously).

Extra special guest post edition

As the Raid Turns, So do the DPS of our Lives

Hi My name is Jinx Deluna, luckily I know Alas in real life and spend many moments in front of her desk going over whatever raid we've been in or whatever is on my mind. She usually has a kind word to say, gives the pep talk and life is good for me. Well it has been Christmas break, days off sick, and I haven't gotten my Alas time in a few weeks. Then the cookie began to crumble for me and I was getting close to hanging up my raiding keyboard for a simple questing life somewhere else. I had the opportunity to talk to her today and well my mind has been put at ease, to a degree and here's what was going down.

So several nights ago, we are hitting new areas of Ulduar for our guild and I find myself eating pavement as 9 other people killed the boss with joy in their voices and a dead druid on the ground. Three times this happened, once ok, twice ugh, the third time, I see a pattern here. In order for the raid to kill the boss, Jinx must kiss the ground and watch as her buddies take down that boss that we've been struggling over. Dude, I'll take one for the team but my mind says, “You're not good enough, your dps sucks anyway and if someone else had died you couldn't use your battle res cuz your dead on the ground. What good are you?” Then that other quiet but reasonable voice says, Blame it on the healers! And how many times has Asmod died two nights before? And how many times did Noxy have his own macro by the healers because he died all the time? Ok maybe it's not so bad…maybe…

Then last night OMG everything hit like a brick. First Noxy is sick and I'm at his house trying to take care of a runny nose, fever running, sick boyfriend and his only wish, “Please go to the raid and have fun, it's ok, really.” I roll my eyes fine, I'll go.

I show up early as usual, do a few dailies, and notice from the FU that I'm not in a channel that Alas has, I join it through the FU and type: So, where are we headed tonight? It didn't show up. I typed it a second time and again, it didn't appear. Fine, I checked my settings and it doesn't show up that I'm a part of this channel WTF? Check it off and ask a third time, So, where are we going night? What I didn't realize was that Alas did see it post and answered and just because my chat window didn't show it, hers was. No one tried whispers or anything to clarify, so what's up with her snarky remark that I did see? “What about my post Jinxy” or something to that effect. What post? Oh the Kiss My Alas page, went back found the post, it reads something to the effect of things that piss me off: “when someone asks hours before raid where were going.” It wasn't hours, it was 30 minutes. I want to feel useful, like I'm contributing something, so, now I'm pissed and trying to figure out what I've done wrong to get a snarky remark.

(Note from Alas: I feel bad about about that, but it's also sort of funny in a comedy of errors sort of way) 

Then from there it went downhill. Tanks pulled agro without a raid leader designating where ranged DPS is supposed to watch, a pally ran out of mana asking for innervate - what if I needed it, get your own damn mana, I don't care if you are the tank and are you using Divine Plea, oh wait, I'm almost full, fine, have the damn thing. (Remember, I'm already pissed and normally this doesn't bother me in the least). Then add almost wiping on a trash pull because people weren't gathered on the stairs and the biggest thing Star or X? Which one dies first? I don't want to ask on each pull which mob has to die first, why can't we use skull and X…EVERYONE else in the game does. So I watch the health bars and see our DPS is split. WTF can we have a little bit of freaking consistency here, is that too much to ask? Please?

(Note from Alas: Bad raid leader is bad. Since it was only the weekly [XT-002], I was being lax. Thought that surely people had a handle on what to kill, when. But Jinx is right. There is not a lot of consistency since the star mark is only for what a certain person is tanking and doesn't signal anything other than that. Sometimes we need to take down the starred mob first, sometimes it's the X. We're going to have to switch back to skull, X or simply say that star = skull so it has to go down first, I don't give a damn who is tanking the mob.) 

So I vent this out at Alas's desk today with most of the day to cool off and I am actually finding the humor in it, I also found some truth. We need the consistency in raids, people need to know where they are supposed to stand or what is expected. I don't need the mechanics of the fight but tell me which adds to watch for, folks need to make sure the healers have mana, and for goodness sakes what is a damn ready check for? *smile* OH I get it, just for shits and grins? LOL…one last thing: WHO DIES FIRST?

We have an awesome team of folks that raid. I do enjoy the game and raiding. I fuss over my DPS like it is an only child and feel that everyone is watching Jinx and asking, Why does she get to come to raids, her DPS is the shit. In reality It's not horrible since I'm a hybrid but everyone else pulls 3500 to 6000 and I'm pulling 2700 to 4000. I feel so inadequate sometimes.  I leaned over Alas's desk and said, “But my dick isn't big enough”. She leans in and says, “But it's a hybrid dick…it is ok.”

Fine, I'll take care of the sick boyfriend until he's recovered, then I'll belly back up to the raiding bar again and take my hybrid dick and kill what I can kill and not fret over the other stuff. …Well, I'll still fret because it is my OCD but hopefully I will not let the mind chatter muddy the waters.

Jinx

Note from Alas: And here we are, letting this site be a place to rant. For the record, other guildies who come here, you all can guest post any time. It makes me lol and helps me learn what's important to you and why.  

Random stuff

Today's post brought to you by a combination of a poor night's sleep and the fact that I often can't focus on anything for more than a minute.

Open letter to guildies who read this blog

Hai guys:

I rant here. I blow off steam. It's what I do to say a little more sane. Don't take anything here too seriously or personally, mkay? If I have a specific problem with a specific person, I'll put on my big girl panties and come talk to you directly. If I'm able to get the crazy out here in advance, well, that just means that it won't be so bad for you if I should ever have to have that one-on-one talk. There's a reason I didn't just put an open link to here when I mentioned I was writing about y'all. This isn't a formal place for me to talk like the forums are and should not be taken as omg srs bzns.

Love,

Alas

=====

On the flip side of that, if you want some tips on things to not do so you don't irritate me into a rant, here's a small list:

Alas gets irritated if you:

• Freak out over vent because you're dying 
• Attempt to call out instructions when you're not the damned raid leader
• Point out the bloody obvious like I'm too damn stupid to know that tanks need healing
• I mean, seriously, no shit? I thought healers were there for looks
• Decide to blow your special abilities or call for someone else to do so (see prior post)
• Think you're somehow more special than anyone else in the guild and can bring whatever alt you choose to a raid (see prior posts)
• Don't laugh at my stupid jokes
• Talk over me when I am trying to distribute loot
• Ask me hours before the raid starts what we're doing on a quickie night. How would I know? There are factors that can throw the best laid plans into utter disarray
• Settle. Guess what? No one ever reaches a point with their main character where they can shrug and stop trying to be better
• Don't sign up and then act offended when you don't get to go
• Sign up at the last minute and then act offended when you don't get to go
• Pretend to not understand the basic building blocks of raid composition and act offended if you don't get to go
• Tell me over and over that we need to get an alt run together for the weekly raid. What prevents you from organizing that?
• Give me ultimatums. I piss on your ultimatums 

I could go on, but I did say it would be a small list.

=====

I saw Avatar this weekend. It was awesome and you should go see it also. They have Nagrand! That is all.

=====

I'mma start work on Emergent, which will be a full length fantasy novel. I'll prolly want readers for constructive feedback and I am considering making a whole other area on the interwebs to post excerpts. Thoughts?

Open letter to raiders

Dear, dear raiders.

What the hell?

I am not the raid leader because I love to hear myself talk all night long. Nor do I take it on just to abuse raid warnings and other specially colored text. I also don't get any perks from being the raid leader. If you think being loot master is fun, try doing it sometime when people won't shut. up. in vent while you're trying to talk about what's on the block.

I am the raid leader because I'm practiced at being aware of what is going on throughout the raid and not just in my own little bubble. You think that's easy? Try it sometime. I dare you. Try to call the twins sometime and say everything you have to say at the right time in the right way so that no one else gets confused and takes out the rest of the goddamn raid. Just make sure you try it when I'm not there, because frankly, I see a lot of death.

On top of being able to call out what's about to happen and what people should be avoiding/dispelling/targeting/controlling/hitting/buffing/whatever-the-fuck-else-everying, I am also keeping an eye on such factors as, oh, I dunno, how many people are still up. How far the boss has been burned. Who is kissing the floor, if anyone is. Whether or not we're about to hit a phase where we're going to need big DPS or heals or both. And on and on and on.

Do I get it perfect all the time? Hell no.

But here's the rub for me, after the last few nights: I certainly can't do my job if you all won't stop making decisions on your own. Did I call for a battle rez? No? Then don't do it. How about that heroism? I don't remember saying hey, let's blow heroism right now instead of saving it for later when that other guy over there is going to gain additional abilities. Did I determine the attempt was a wipe? No? Then why the fuck did you DI the tank and take yourself, as a healer, out of action?

If you think you can do a better job of raid leading, by all means, let me know and I'll step back and let you try it. But if you just think that your toolbox is your own and how you use your abilities is a decision that affects only you, think again, dammit. And then shut the hell up so I can communicate what I need to without wading through static and calling for something that isn't available because you decided to waste it two minutes ago.

I would really, really fucking appreciate that.

Love,

Alas

Further thoughts on fire magery

Fuck you. I'm going back to arcane.

Open letter to rule breakers

Maybe it's me. I am pretty anal. But, seriously, guys, c'mon... is it that hard?

You know what I'm talking about. I mean, I'm going to have to work my way around ranks and spend another how many minutes of my life pissing around with moving people up and down and why? Because you're either too damn stupid to have comprehended the raiding rules (rules that YOU signed and agreed to) that said, "only sign up on your main and we'll bring alts in if we need them," or you are so stupid you already forgot about that or, and most likely in my opinion as far as a few of you go, you think that if you sign up on your alt and decline on your main I'll just somehow forget that I wrote those damn rules and have those rules in place for a reason and won't enforce them.

Well, you're wrong. And I'm pissed off because I can't help but see this as pure selfishness on your part. Oh, your one character already got all the loot you can get off this fight? So what? I'm supposed to agree that it's fair for nine other people to have to carry you? Or rearrange what other people can bring based off your different role you think you can just assume? I'm supposed to pat you on the head and give you gear at the expense of someone else's main just because you think, in your mind, that you can have two mains? Or three? Or four?

I don't think so. I really do not.

So now you don't even get the option. Enjoy that.

Open letter to anyone with a PhD

Dear person with a PhD:

The fact that you went to school for a long time and wrote some sort of thesis on something that almost no one else in the world cares about does not impress me. You are not glorified in my eyes. Have and use some common sense. Act like a human being. Pay attention to the details of life and appreciate those who end up stuck trying to help you and then we'll talk. Until then, the god-complex only irritates me and makes me want to stab you with a pencil; not help you find the best deal on the most perfect piece of technology to go in your office/lab/whatever. 

Love, 

Alas