Things your raid leader shouldn't have to say...

...that you need to know anyway.

1. Do not sign up on multiple toons for a single raid. I know who your alts are and if I need them, I will bring them. You should read the fucking calendar invite and note where I spelled out "Accept on your main only."

2. Don't presume to dictate the raiding schedule for the night to me. Nearly everyone else has shied away from handling this job. If I get all the headaches, I also get final say on what we're doing and I don't give a shit if your alts want something from a particular fight. You might feel like a princess, but that doesn't make you one.

3. If you don't sign up for a raid more than once a month, you will not get preference for the one time you do happen to get around to doing that. Quite the contrary, I will consider you dead last.

4. If you always sign up as tentative you're sending me a message, and it's not a positive one. Want to know what tentative means to me? It means you're a lazy asswipe who thinks that he can sneak around the rules but no, I see what you're doing. And I am not impressed. Even if you're not trying to sneak around the rules, it tells me that you are unreliable and that's just really not who I need in my raids.

5. Our raid schedule isn't complicated. At all. It's also been on the calendar for a month. Don't get on and start asking clueless questions such as "Are we raiding tonight? Where are we going? Am I confirmed?" That information is as available to you as it is to me and I'm not here to hold your hand every step of the way.

6. Hanging around trying to snipe a raid spot doesn't impress me at all. I will always, always go to people I've put on standby first.

7. Sign up and show up, means just that. There are no hidden clauses or secret rules in there. My rules apply to everyone equally. Along with that, "be ready" means I don't want to wait for you to repair or make potions or buy a gem off the AH. Again, these raids are not surprises and no one is forcing you to come. You chose to come, you damn skippy better follow through.

8. If we have done a fight many times, don't pretend that you're in there for the first time. You know what your role should be and you know what the important targets ought to be. You also know our kill order. So don't focus on the unmarked mob when we have a skull right there.

9. Don't talk over me in vent. Ever. If I am explaining a fight to the new guy, wait until I ask if there is anything else that should be noted. If I am passing out loot, I don't care to hear over vent that you're passing or you like the looks of those particular pixels. Just, really, shut up and bid when I say to. Blather all you want on easy trash pulls or on boss fights that we can do with our eyes closed, but otherwise show some respect.

10. Don't stand in the fire/green crap/black holes/blue lines of doom/red circles/clouds of putrid/whatever else Blizz throws at us. If you can't make it through a raid without my barking at you to move outta the damn hurty stuff, you maybe shouldn't be raiding. Because it is not my job to watch my feet and those of nine other people, if I think I can get away with it, I will not say anything and let you die of your own dumb and hope that maybe next time you'll remember. More and more, that hope is frail and wasted and you are making me die inside.