As the Raid Turns, So do the DPS of our Lives
Hi My name is Jinx Deluna, luckily I know Alas in real life and spend many moments in front of her desk going over whatever raid we've been in or whatever is on my mind. She usually has a kind word to say, gives the pep talk and life is good for me. Well it has been Christmas break, days off sick, and I haven't gotten my Alas time in a few weeks. Then the cookie began to crumble for me and I was getting close to hanging up my raiding keyboard for a simple questing life somewhere else. I had the opportunity to talk to her today and well my mind has been put at ease, to a degree and here's what was going down.
So several nights ago, we are hitting new areas of Ulduar for our guild and I find myself eating pavement as 9 other people killed the boss with joy in their voices and a dead druid on the ground. Three times this happened, once ok, twice ugh, the third time, I see a pattern here. In order for the raid to kill the boss, Jinx must kiss the ground and watch as her buddies take down that boss that we've been struggling over. Dude, I'll take one for the team but my mind says, “You're not good enough, your dps sucks anyway and if someone else had died you couldn't use your battle res cuz your dead on the ground. What good are you?” Then that other quiet but reasonable voice says, Blame it on the healers! And how many times has Asmod died two nights before? And how many times did Noxy have his own macro by the healers because he died all the time? Ok maybe it's not so bad…maybe…
Then last night OMG everything hit like a brick. First Noxy is sick and I'm at his house trying to take care of a runny nose, fever running, sick boyfriend and his only wish, “Please go to the raid and have fun, it's ok, really.” I roll my eyes fine, I'll go.
I show up early as usual, do a few dailies, and notice from the FU that I'm not in a channel that Alas has, I join it through the FU and type: So, where are we headed tonight? It didn't show up. I typed it a second time and again, it didn't appear. Fine, I checked my settings and it doesn't show up that I'm a part of this channel WTF? Check it off and ask a third time, So, where are we going night? What I didn't realize was that Alas did see it post and answered and just because my chat window didn't show it, hers was. No one tried whispers or anything to clarify, so what's up with her snarky remark that I did see? “What about my post Jinxy” or something to that effect. What post? Oh the Kiss My Alas page, went back found the post, it reads something to the effect of things that piss me off: “when someone asks hours before raid where were going.” It wasn't hours, it was 30 minutes. I want to feel useful, like I'm contributing something, so, now I'm pissed and trying to figure out what I've done wrong to get a snarky remark.
(Note from Alas: I feel bad about about that, but it's also sort of funny in a comedy of errors sort of way)
Then from there it went downhill. Tanks pulled agro without a raid leader designating where ranged DPS is supposed to watch, a pally ran out of mana asking for innervate - what if I needed it, get your own damn mana, I don't care if you are the tank and are you using Divine Plea, oh wait, I'm almost full, fine, have the damn thing. (Remember, I'm already pissed and normally this doesn't bother me in the least). Then add almost wiping on a trash pull because people weren't gathered on the stairs and the biggest thing Star or X? Which one dies first? I don't want to ask on each pull which mob has to die first, why can't we use skull and X…EVERYONE else in the game does. So I watch the health bars and see our DPS is split. WTF can we have a little bit of freaking consistency here, is that too much to ask? Please?
(Note from Alas: Bad raid leader is bad. Since it was only the weekly [XT-002], I was being lax. Thought that surely people had a handle on what to kill, when. But Jinx is right. There is not a lot of consistency since the star mark is only for what a certain person is tanking and doesn't signal anything other than that. Sometimes we need to take down the starred mob first, sometimes it's the X. We're going to have to switch back to skull, X or simply say that star = skull so it has to go down first, I don't give a damn who is tanking the mob.)
So I vent this out at Alas's desk today with most of the day to cool off and I am actually finding the humor in it, I also found some truth. We need the consistency in raids, people need to know where they are supposed to stand or what is expected. I don't need the mechanics of the fight but tell me which adds to watch for, folks need to make sure the healers have mana, and for goodness sakes what is a damn ready check for? *smile* OH I get it, just for shits and grins? LOL…one last thing: WHO DIES FIRST?
We have an awesome team of folks that raid. I do enjoy the game and raiding. I fuss over my DPS like it is an only child and feel that everyone is watching Jinx and asking, Why does she get to come to raids, her DPS is the shit. In reality It's not horrible since I'm a hybrid but everyone else pulls 3500 to 6000 and I'm pulling 2700 to 4000. I feel so inadequate sometimes. I leaned over Alas's desk and said, “But my dick isn't big enough”. She leans in and says, “But it's a hybrid dick…it is ok.”
Fine, I'll take care of the sick boyfriend until he's recovered, then I'll belly back up to the raiding bar again and take my hybrid dick and kill what I can kill and not fret over the other stuff. …Well, I'll still fret because it is my OCD but hopefully I will not let the mind chatter muddy the waters.
Note from Alas: And here we are, letting this site be a place to rant. For the record, other guildies who come here, you all can guest post any time. It makes me lol and helps me learn what's important to you and why.